(11) Rainbows, Wiggles and Giggles

A few days ago I celebrated Mother’s Day.  It’s an interesting feeling celebrating such a holiday when you are pregnant with someone else’s children.  I’m in an uncommon situation to say the least, so I’m really not sure how I should feel.  But I feel content, peaceful, and optimistic.  On this Mother’s day, I guess I feel this is right.  This is meant to be.  But I knew it would be a tough day for Holly, as prior Mother’s days have been.  People often forget about the mothers with children who are no longer with them.  I wanted to reach out to Holly, while at the same time not wanting to intrude.  With all the power I have in me, I hope I can give her children she can love, hug and hold next Mother’s Day.  But that is a whole year away.   So I kept my distance, and decided to send her a Mother’s Day card, wishing her a happy Mother’s Day for the children she’s had, if only for a moment.  I also thanked her for trusting me to carry her precious cargo.  I hope I made her day a little brighter.  It is said in the IVF world that a baby born after a loss is called a rainbow baby.  Holly and I both saw double rainbows (diff. days) not long after finding out I was carrying the twins.  Hmmm?

 A “rainbow baby” is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss. In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.

My next appointment is with Dr. Winkler.  He is the doctor who gave the okay for me to do this in the first place.  He’s also the one with that sarcastic sense of humor that not everyone understands (sound of throat clearing, Holly).  But I love it!  He makes for a fun visit!  Holly has lots of questions, none of which stump Dr. Winkler.  This guy really knows his stuff.   With all of her past problems, she wants answers for the “what if’s” in my case.  He drew diagrams and threw out stats like he was reading it from a text book.  We learned today that they will not let me go past 38 weeks gestation (a “normal” pregnancy lasts 40 weeks).  Twins seem to cook at a faster rate than singletons (who knew), so they normally get them out earlier, before any problems can occur -- that is if I even make it to 38 weeks.  I’m 9 weeks, 4 days pregnant today.  At 10 weeks they are considered a fetus instead of an embryo, almost there.  For today’s ultrasound, Dr. Winkler brought in the portable machine.  They were little wigglers!  They would hardly hold still to check their heartbeats.  They are the size of cherries now.  So of course Holly was prepared for a photo with cherries.

Me, Holly and the little Cherries!

Today’s appointment was later in the day so everyone could be there, and then have dinner.  After finishing dinner, we traded gifts.  Holly had a bag of maternity clothes for me to borrow.  We gave Holly and Darren the two stuffed animals we bought the day after the positive pregnancy test.  Many happy tears were shed.  Holly sent me the picture she took of Darren.  So sweet!

Daddy with the Bear and the Beaver!

Just over a week later, Tom’s brother and sister (Andy and Sheila) decided to come to Oregon for a visit.  We were a little concerned because we hadn’t planned on telling any family until I was at least 12 weeks along.  Well I’m now 11 weeks, so close enough.  The four of us went out to dinner at a local Thai restaurant.  We were having a casual conversation when I mentioned that I have some possibly shocking news.  Sheila said “There is nothing you could possibly say that would shock me, ha ha ha”.  I smiled a little, and looked over at Tom before sayings “Oh really?  I bet I can!”  Andy perked up at this, but stayed silent, wondering what was about to happen (maybe suspecting a fun practical joke).  So I looked at Tom again, and then announced to Sheila “I’m pregnant!”  Suddenly things got interesting.  Sheila wasn’t quite shocked yet.  She was smiling on the outside, but internally questioning our motivations for expanding our family so late in life.  I let it soak in for a minute, and then I said “with twins”.  Sheila’s un-shockability was starting to crack.  Andy was clearly not buying any of it, but couldn’t even guess where we were going with this.  A few seconds later I said “but they’re not Tom’s”.  Now Sheila was confused, and more than a little concerned.  When I finished with “and they’re not mine either”, some explanation was required.  But undeniably, I was able to shock the un-shockable Sheila!  We all got a good giggle out of this, and we finished dinner discussing how we got to this point so far.  

May 17th - 10 weeks pregnant!