(27) Two buns in my oven

Good news:  My “original” doctor (Dr. Winkler) has moved into a new office, located closer to my home, yay!  So I am looking forward to less traffic and shorter drive times, yet I will miss all of the other doctors and nurses I was getting to know, especially Dr. Merrill.  Fortunately, I will still see some familiar faces when I go to the new office.  I’m really happy that I get to start seeing Dr. Winkler again, I guess since he was the one who approved me to start this special project.  It’s seems only fitting that he sees this through to the end, right?

The new office grand opening is perfect timing.  Driving is becoming increasingly more difficult and uncomfortable.  Since I drive a Mini Cooper with a manual transmission let’s just say, when you have a big belly and have to shift a lot because of traffic it gets old, real fast!  Luckily, we also have a Dodge Ram so I’ve started to drive it more.  Although I have to pull myself up into it, which is no small feat, I at least have more room for my growing belly.  Plus, it’s an automatic.  It’s the small things, or in my case the bigger things.  Bigger vehicle, plus shorter travel distance makes for a happy gestational carrier and cargo.

Over the weekend, Darren and Holly host another gathering with some of our old LensCrafters co-workers.  Sadly, Olga couldn’t make it, but we got to hang out with Lily and her husband Serge.  Lily is also pregnant, so it was a little crazy seeing my larger belly compared to hers.  She is 5 or 6 weeks further along than I am.  But just looking at our bellies you would never guess that, unless you knew I was carrying twins.  At one point in the evening, Darren and I have fun trying on a ‘pregnancy’ Halloween costume that Holly and Darren bought the year before.  It’s a little awkward doing this, but Holly is the one who suggested it.  I know deep in her heart she will always ache with the loss of Jude and Brinly, but seeing my belly grow with her two little boys suppresses that ache.  We pose for a few pictures of me wearing the oven costume and Darren being the baker.  I guess in a way the costume still works.  After all, I am just the oven! 

Lily ~34wks with singleton, Darren, Me ~29wks with twins

Darren feeling Noah kick

At my second appt. at the new location I had to see another new doctor.  Bummer!  How dare Dr. Winkler take a vacation!!!   Dr. Buckmaster orders a full blood panel to check for pre-eclampsia.  This is a routine test for high risk pregnancies.  They also inform me that next week (week 31) I’ll be starting a two day per week appointment schedule, oh yay.  I just got out of not having to check my cervix weekly!  But I can’t complain.  They are making sure everything is going well with twins in this crucial pregnancy period.  It’s actually rare these days to allow twins to go full term.  Usually, twins enter the world at week 38 (or before) instead of 40 weeks.  Next week, my first visit will start with an extensive ultrasound to check the babies for signs of stress.  Then two days later, I’ll go back to have a 30 minute HR test.  They’ll attach leads to me and my belly, and monitor all of our heart beats.  More medical fun!

The swelling is starting, goodbye feet

 

(26) Blue Baby Sprinkles

Holly has decided to have her baby shower a little earlier than usual.  This makes sense because in most cases, the birth of multiples comes earlier than a singleton birth.   Holly invited me, so we made plans to drive together to her mom’s house in Brush Prairie, Washington.  It’s about a 30min drive from my house in Oregon to Holly’s house in Washington.  Her mom lives another 30 minutes from there. It is a beautiful sunny summer day,  It was perfect!

I bought a baby shower gift for each of the twins.  Somehow it seems weird for me to buy them things, but I’m actually a little addicted to it.  They will never want for anything I’m afraid.  If Mom and Dad won’t buy something for them, I think they’ll quickly learn to hit up Aunt Becky and Uncle Tom.  We’ll try to follow any rules and guidelines we get from Holly and Darren, but no promises!

When we arrived at the party, it was already overflowing with people.  The gift table was overflowing too.  And it seemed like everyone was coming up to me and hugging me like they’ve known me for years.  I’ll admit, I was probably a little like a deer in the headlights at first.  I only knew a few people there, so there were lots of new names to remember, and I failed on several occasions. 

Holly’s mom Jodie is quite the party planner!  She had the cutest homemade decorations for the gift, food and beverage table.  After we all had a bite to eat, Jodie asked everyone to take a seat so Holly could open gifts.  They gave me a chair right next to her with a little stool so I could put my feet up.  Before opening the gifts, Holly had a little something to say.  And of course, I was crying by the end of it.  So many kind words.  She talked about her family support and her faith helping her get through these tough years.  And although I’m not a religious person, she knows I support her in all her beliefs even if we don’t share them.  I love her for not judging me!  After Holly was done, Jodie joined in with some kind words of her own, and then Darren’s mom too!  It was a touching and emotional 20 minutes. 

Amongst the pile of gifts there were a few for me, which I was not expecting!  Both grandmas had something for me.  Holly’s mom gave me the softest blanket I’d ever touched, and said to think of her hugging me whenever I used it.  Darren’s mom gave me a cute wind-chime with an owl on it.  It is hanging on my back deck for all to see and hear.  Even one of Holly’s friends who I’ve never met gave me a gift.  So touching!   There was even one from “the boys”.  Hmmm, I wonder how they managed that!  

GG-Holly- Becky -Jodie

Becky - Holly - Heidi

Darren's Mom, Diane speaking

Homemade bow ties for the little LOVES

(25) What’s in a name?

At 28 weeks, everything seems to be stable.  Even though I’ve got more on my daily “to do list” than anticipated, all is well in the womb.  The doctors are not as concerned with my short cervix anymore, whew!  It’s been stable for the last 4 weeks, so my pessary must be doing its job.  I get to see Dr. Merrill at this week’s visit, and he tells me it’s very important that I get a Flu shot.  Ugh, really?  (insert whiny voice here).  I’ve never had the Flu (or a Flu shot) before.  And I’m concerned about any possible side-effects on my passengers.  But Dr. Merrill tells me that getting the flu while pregnant can be dangerous to all of us, so being the good little patient that I am, I listen to the doctor and agree to get the dreaded shot.  When the nurse arrives, I ask “Can you give it to me in my butt? It’s still numb from all my other shots!”   She says: “I don’t care.  Wherever you want it is okay with me.”   So add this to my list of future “payback”chores for these boys.  Oh yes, Holly is keeping tabs on how many car washes I’ll need, foot rubs, etc…

Later that week, Tom and I met Holly and Darren at Panera for dinner.  We all sat down to eat our yummy food, mine low carb of course.  At the end, Holly passes me a little gift bag with a card.  I open the card to read it, and I at first was a little confused.  It mentioned something about the baby names.  You see, after the Multnomah Falls family reveal, we learned Holly and Darren’s name choices for the boys.  Baby A would be named Noah Jude.   Baby B would be named Jace Beckom.  Baby B’s middle name is a combination of my name (BECKy) and Tom’s name (tOM).  But the card I am reading now says that Baby B’s name will be Beckom Samuel.  So what happened?  It turns out that Holly, Darren, and their families liked the name Beckom so much that they decided to make it his first name!  We were stunned, but in a good way.  It is such an honor to have one of the babies named after me and Tom.  Now this “project” seems more special than ever, if that is even possible.

Beckom Samuel <B

August 20th - 28 weeks

    Kaela painted a picture for Holly to hang in the boys bedroom.  It was of a book Holly holds dear to her heart.  

(24) I guess we’re not done poking me

It sounds silly now, but my first concern after hearing I had gestational diabetes was that I’d have to give up my favorite pizza.  I’ve been making a special effort to eat healthy foods throughout this pregnancy, and the pizza was one of the few exceptions.  And it wasn’t really that unhealthy…  Deep down, I know that my diet had nothing to do with the diabetes diagnosis, but I’m still pretty shocked by the news.  And for the first time, I’m actually a little concerned about myself.  Gestational diabetes is typically temporary (going away after giving birth), but not always.  Permanent diabetes isn’t something I bargained for.  With an inward sigh, I remind myself again to be positive.  Be positive.  Be positive.

The nurse with the diabetes diagnosis also provided the number to the closest nutritional counselor.  It was close to my house (not in Portland or Washington, or worse), so maybe my luck is already turning around.  On the following Monday, the very nice nutritionist let me know that I just barely didn’t pass the gestational diabetes test.  But even a mild case is taken very seriously, especially for any pregnancy considered high risk (like mine!).  To my relief, she also tells me that my favorite pizza and peanut M&Ms are not off-limits after all.  I just have to refrain from feasting on them.  Can do!  Now I’m really feeling that my luck is turning around.  Then, the nutritionist provides an organized outline of what I should eat and when.  Basically, it’s a good guideline of how you should eat all the time, gestational diabetes or not.  And, it’s really not far off from how I’ve been eating during this pregnancy already.  Can do.  Next, I get the blood testing kit from her.  It’s small and portable, and appears easy to use.  But yes, it does mean poking my fingers three times every day, on a very specific schedule.  More pokes...  But at least these are minor compared to the progesterone!  OK, so now I know the new rules.  Anyone who knows me can confirm that I’m a “rule follower”, so this situation is no exception.  Besides, I’ve got my precious cargo to keep me motivated.  I do exactly as I’m told.

Now I’m recording my blood pressure AND blood sugar levels, three times each day!  I even created a special “spreadsheet” to keep everything organized.  After all, I have to turn in these readings during my many doctor visits.  After the first week of this, Holly and Darren came over for dinner.  For moral support, Holly suggested we all do a finger poke.  Holly steps up like champ, even letting me push the “needle release” button on the testing meter.  If you know Holly, you’d know that she doesn’t give up control of something like this lightly.  Tom was next.  No issues.  Then it was Darren’s turn, and it was clear he was not so enthusiastic about participating.  This was not his idea.  Reluctantly, he stepped up to the table, and nervously sat down.  I demand a finger.  It’s pretty comical how he starts to comply, then pulls his finger back.  He’s smiling, but is not happy.  I finally grab his ring finger and push the needle release plunger, but Darren’s finger shows nothing!  He thinks he’s done, but Holly and I are not satisfied without seeing that telltale small blood droplet.  This just means a slightly deeper setting is needed, and I proceed by making the adjustment on the meter.  This time, he pulls his finger away so fast that I couldn’t grab it for a re-poke.  He cried “deeper, why?!”  He knew why.  But I calmly reminded him that we saw no blood on the first try, likely due to thicker skin or a callous on his finger.  Resigned to his fate, Darren agreed to a 2^nd try.  As the needle penetrates his finger, a look of panic crosses his face, and an exaggerated expression of pain follows.  PRICELESS!  

Sept 6th - 26 weeks

June 21st - 15 weeks Bare belly

Sept 6th - 26 weeks Bare belly

(23) Feed me!

I continue see a doctor at least once per week, and so far I haven’t had any new issues.  Yes, I still take BP medication.  Yes, my cervix is still short.  Yes, I still have the pessary in place.  But at least things seem stable.  I’ve hardly noticed a difference with/without having that hard plastic pessary inside me.  Maybe a little TMI, but the only time I notice it is during my nightly Progesterone suppository routine.  I try to get them as close to the cervix as possible, so yeah, I feel the hard plastic.  And for those who are wondering about “intimacy”, there is none of that happening!  Officially not allowed.  I’m wondering if my husband will go bonkers by the time this is all over.  He and I are handling it well so far (I think!), but it’s not a restriction we were anticipating.  Another small sacrifice.

At almost 25 weeks, it’s that time in my pregnancy for me have the glucose test to check for gestational diabetes.  I’m pretty confident I’ll be OK.  I certainly don’t want to worry Holly with anything beyond the BP/cervix/pessary situations.  The test starts early (7:30am) at the doctors’ office with a “fasting blood check”.  To prepare, I have been instructed not to eat or drink for at least 8 hours before this test.  So I’m waiting with four other hungry/thirsty pregnant women to get finger pokes.  Not exactly a happy bunch.  To pass the time, we chat about the babies to be, so I fill them in on my little adventure.  Usually people react with positive enthusiasm when they hear my story, but not everyone.  Some people believe you shouldn’t mess with Mother Nature.  Luckily, I don’t encounter any such negativity today.  After we all get the first finger poke, we get to drink a lovely syrupy drink.  Yuck.  I chose the lemon/lime because I was told it’s the best one, but it was still bad.  We had 15 minutes to drink it.  Then we get two blood tests: the first after one hour has elapsed, and then another after two hours have elapsed.  Needless to say, we are all starving by the time the test is over.  Afterwards, I have an appointment with Dr. Winkler, one of my favorites.  I haven’t seen him in a while. They do the normal checks.  My weight has been pretty steady lately.  I’ve gained about 29 pounds, which must be OK because it’s never brought up as an issue.  They check my cervical length too (again).  No surprise, it’s short, but unchanged from prior checks (measurements are generally between 1.8-2.1cm).  After my appointment, I go to my favorite pizza place (Life of Pie) down the street from the doctor’s office.  It’s starting to become a ritual.  But I can’t help it because it’s that good!  If you’re ever in NE Portland Oregon, you can’t go wrong eating there.  At 5:30pm my phone rings with the glucose test results.  Yep, I have gestational diabetes.  Crap!

(22) Emotional Roller-coaster Ride

Today is a very special day.  We’re 1 day past the 24 week milestone.  It is one of the most important milestones we’ve been hoping to reach.  Now it’s time to execute the Multnomah Falls “reveal” plan.  We’ve been talking about this day since before I was even pregnant and IT’S FINALLY HERE!  I didn’t sleep well last night because of my giddy excited nerves.  This morning, I carefully selected my clothing, because I want to make a good first impression on this new extended family I’ll be meeting today.  I also take the time to straighten my hair, because I have this horrible frizzy stuff that I usually just put in a ponytail.  My daughter Kaela reluctantly gets out of bed early.  She is a teenager after all, and it’s summer.  She’s part of the plan, so she has to get up.  We head for Multnomah Falls which is about a 30 minute drive from our house.

We arrive early so we can avoid seeing Holly and Darren’s families in the parking lot or by the river where they are holding their memorial.  We sit on the built-in bench in front of the Falls, and I have Kaela whip a drawing up of the bridge above.  She completes an amazing drawing in just a few minutes.  My plan is to act like I’m drawing while they all line up in front of the railing for a memorial photo.  Then Holly and Darren will ask “strangers” Tom and Kaela to take a picture, which won’t be a picture but actually a video.  We’re so sneaky!

Kaela's quick draw of Multnomah Falls bridge

At about 9am, we see the unsuspecting crew trickling in.   I’ve never met any of their families but I’ve seen photos on Instagram and Facebook.  I can also sense someone standing behind me so I take a peak.  It looks like Holly’s father -- EEK!  He appears to be checking out “my” drawing (Later, he tells me how impressed he was with the drawing – Thanks Kaela!).  There are a few other people around, but it isn’t too busy this morning, thank goodness, because we are about to blow the minds of everyone gathering here to memorialize the loss of Jude and Brinly.  After a few minutes, Holly and Darren’s families somberly gather together for the picture.  Holly walks up to a handsome stranger (Tom) and asks him to take a picture, while Darren hands Kaela his phone.  I just continue to pretend to draw.  As Tom starts counting 3-2-1, I get up and casually walk right into the group, trying to squeeze between Holly and Darren.  Everyone still smiles for the “photo”, but they are clearly confused and shocked at my rudeness.  After they thought the photo taking was done, Holly’s mom even says “can we take another one?”   I’m sure she was thinking “who is this rude woman who just photo-bombed us?!”

Then Holly turns and puts her hand on my belly and announces “this is our surrogate, Becky”.  Instantly, Holly’s mom FREAKS OUT!  She starts crying “What?!...  What?!...”  Nobody was ready for this.  Nobody even had the slightest suspicion.  They just completed a heart-breaking memorial for the lost babies, and now are hearing the heart-warming news of a new baby to be born.    I say “baby” because we are saving the “twin” surprise for later today!  Holly has a sonogram of one of the twins to show everyone.  The emotional roller-coaster ride has only just begun....

Holly and Darren had previously arranged memorial brunch at their house, which has now transformed into a bubbly gender reveal party.  All of their family members are still in shock, but now in a good way.  The excitement is electric as we all grab a bite to eat.  Then while everyone is finishing up, Holly and Darren pull out the gender reveal box.  Just one box at first.  But just before the box is opened to reveal either pink or blue balloons, Holly and Darren pause the action to bring out a second box.  And then another round of freaking out erupts, as expected and planned.  Twins!

Me and Tom before the reveal

August 23rd - 24 weeks

Holly, Becky and Heidi (Holly's sis ~30 weeks)

(21) Positively Planning in advance

As my belly grows, so does my love. These two little boys may poke and prod me causing me pain, but that means they are alive, so bring it!  I have learned while doing this that it is not to be taken for granted.  I feel for all the women in this world who struggle with infertility.  I was blind to all of this, for which I’m grateful to finally have this eye opening experience.  I don’t know of anyone who has ever done this, so I think I’m one of few.  In the beginning I thought it really was NO BIG DEAL.  But, the farther along I get I’m realizing it is a big deal.  I did this for more than just Holly and Darren.  I did it for these two little boys and they haven’t even been born yet.  I know these two little guys are going to special! 

I remember meeting with Holly and Darren back in February for breakfast.  We were discussing how all my preparations were going and then Holly announced that her sister was pregnant.  I could tell she was really happy for her but at the same time sad.  She couldn’t believe her sister just ran a 5k then tells the family about the pregnancy.  Woman who struggle with infertility usually wouldn’t be running marathons while in the first stages of pregnancy.  After this crazy news I told Holly that I was confident this would work.  I assured her “I get pregnant really easy” so don’t worry.  I had to apologize to her later on because I thought it was really insensitive of me to say.  She said normally that would be a hard thing to hear but because it was me, she loves my special ability.

We start to discuss the future of something that is still just a hope and a dream, how to tell their families about me and my passengers.  That’s right I’m not even pregnant yet and we’re discussing this!  Holly had already decided she wanted to have a memorial for Jude at Multnomah Falls.  We started developing a plan as to how far along and 24 weeks gestation was decided.  This is when the medical world will take extreme measures to keep a baby alive when born this early.  The percentage is low, but there is a chance.  This is Holly’s milestone to reach before they inform their families.  They didn’t want them to have to go through the possibility of another loss.  It takes great courage to shield these feelings from them and Holly is overflowing with it. 

Luckily I’ve never met any of their families so they won’t recognize us at the falls.  We decide on Sunday August 24^th at 9am.  How appropriate, I’ll be 24 weeks and 1 day on the 24^th of August!  

What to wear, what to wear! 

August 9th - 22 weeks

Me and fruit comparison photo!